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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494168">Moving Forward, Falling Back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Rose_In_The_Garden/pseuds/A_Rose_In_The_Garden'>A_Rose_In_The_Garden</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Drama, F/F, Gen, Other, Post-Canon, Romance, Some Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Rose_In_The_Garden/pseuds/A_Rose_In_The_Garden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Almost a year after Steven left Beach City, Bismuth is ready to move her relationship with Pearl forward. But before she can make her move, a face from her past shows up and throws her entire life into chaos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bismuth &amp; Lapis Lazuli (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey! There was an accident and the original version of the story got deleted, so I'm reuploading the chapters I've written so far. Hopefully, I'll have something new soon. Sorry for the inconvenience!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With one last strike of her hammer, Bismuth let out a deep but satisfied sigh and stepped back to admire her handiwork. All in all, the house was coming along nicely! It was nice and angular, a large, technicolored box with a glass ceiling supported by durable oak with linings of steel to support it. Inside, it was decked out with a large bed and other basic furniture, and plenty of access to Earth reading materials and other media. Plus, it had little fountains by the entryway outside, but they didn't serve any purpose; Bismuth just thought they looked nice. Now all it was missing was the…</p><p>"Door coming through!" a familiar voice shouted.</p><p>Bismuth looked over to see Greg walking towards her holding a large, equally technicolor door above his head. He was already breaking a sweat, but still managed to look ready and raring to go. "Mr. Universe!" she said, shifting her hand back to normal. "Right on time!"</p><p>Greg put the door down and took a quick breath, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "This thing took more out of me than I thought," he said tiredly. "I hope you weren't too doored waiting for me!" </p><p>He punctuated the goofy line with a big, earnest grin, making it impossible for Bismuth to not laugh. "Your lines are pretty bad, but that might be the worst one yet," she said, picking the door up with one hand.</p><p>"What can I say, it's a gift," Greg replied. "Also, grabbed these while I was in your workshop," he added, pulling out a couple bolts and fasteners.</p><p>"Just what I needed," Bismuth said, taking the supplies. "Thanks, Greg." Lining up the door to the frame, she changed her index finger into a little hammer and got to work setting it in place. </p><p>"Need anything else while I'm here?" Greg asked, patting the surprisingly robust tool belt around his waist. He had insisted on bringing it along when Bismuth asked him if he could help out with some construction work, even when she reminded him that she was essentially a walking tool kit. It was impossible to say no, however, when he was practically beaming with pride while showing it off ("the belt alone cost over a hundred bucks," he had told her, "and the equipment...oh, the equipment!").</p><p>"No, cause I think we might just be done!" Bismuth said, putting the finishing touches on the door frame. She blew some dust off her hammer, then returned her finger to normal. She stepped back to admire her (and Greg's) handiwork--it was a sight to behold, that was for sure. Looking around, she could feel just how perfectly it fit in amongst all the other houses she had built for Little Homeworld. It was a veritable rainbow of colors and shapes, each one suited perfectly to the gem inhabiting it.</p><p>“How many more of these do we gotta build?” Greg asked, making Bismuth jump a bit. She had gotten so lost in her thoughts, she had briefly forgotten he was there.</p><p>“Just a few more,” she said. “Cherry is still deciding what she wants her house to be like. Plus, Larimar had some notes about how she ‘couldn’t hear people screaming’ from her little veranda, so now I gotta figure out how to make that possible. Oh, and the mayor only needs two Rubies with her at home in the evening, so I need to make a little nest for all of them, then I have some metal-working classes lined up for tonight, plus some tomorrow, so I’ll have to--”</p><p>“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” Greg said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I know gems don’t really get tired, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get some rest.”</p><p>“Well, we can get a little bit tired,” Bismuth said, rubbing her eyes, “but I still can’t afford to put off any of my work.”</p><p>“Why not?” Greg asked. “It’s not like it's going anywhere.”</p><p>Before Bismuth could respond, they both heard a loud gasp of excitement. Turning, they saw Crazy Lace Agate standing just behind them, eye wide as she gazed at her brand new home. "I can't believe it!" she said.</p><p>"Hey, Crazy Lace," Bismuth said, waving. "What do you think?"</p><p>"What do I think?!" Crazy Lace said. "I think it's perfect! Do I really get that whole thing to myself?"</p><p>"That's the plan.”</p><p>Suddenly, Cherry swept them both up in a big hug, lifting even Bismuth off the ground. "Thank you so much!" she said, squeezing them tightly.</p><p>After releasing them from her iron grip, Crazy Lace went ahead and talked their ears off for a bit, telling them about all the crazy human things she saw in town today. Her excitement was infectious, and soon enough, both Bismuth and Greg found themselves getting equally excited over how she saw Mr. Smiley emptying quarters out of the vending machine. Finally, she couldn’t hold herself back anymore and ran into her new home, delightfully telling them about her plans for the evening ("I’m gonna do what Amethyst taught me and sleep! Like a human! Ha!") before closing the door.</p><p>After coming down from the excitement of the whole affair, Bismuth turned to Greg and smiled. “That’s why I can’t put it off,” she said. “Seeing other gems be just as excited as I was back when I first learned how it felt to be free? It means the world to me. I don’t want to leave any of them waiting longer than they need to.”</p><p>Greg sighed and scratched the back of his head. “That did feel pretty good, I’ll admit,” he said, chuckling slightly. “But for tonight, at least, you need to take some time off.”</p><p> </p><p>Bismuth raised an eyebrow at him. “Why? What makes tonight so special?”</p><p>“Because it's Tuesday night!” Greg exclaimed, a bit incredulous. “You’re coming to the house tonight, remember?”</p><p>Bismuth stared at Greg in stony silence for a second, then gasped as she remembered how, just a few days ago, she had promised Pearl she would come visit. “Oh, shucks!” she said, pacing. “I thought today was Monday! I can’t believe I lost track of time, I--” She stopped. She turned to Greg, eyeing him suspiciously. “How did you know I was coming over?”</p><p>"Because it's all Pearl has been talking about all week," Greg said, feigning exasperation. "She's so excited. She spent all of her ukulele lesson Sunday telling me about it! Come to think of it, I don’t think she even brought her ukulele."</p><p>"Oh!" Bismuth said, simply. "Oh. Well, that's, uh...she always has been excitable, you know?" She chuckled a bit, suddenly aware of how hot her face was feeling. She scratched her cheek, hoping that Greg couldn't see it getting flush.</p><p>If he could, he wasn't saying anything. Instead, he just laughed good-naturedly and patted her on the back. "Well, let's not keep her waiting, then," he said. "I'm sure by this point, she's even reminding Cat Steven that you're coming over."</p><p>Bismuth laughed just a bit awkwardly, but before she could respond, Crazy Lace cracked the door open and eyeballed the both of them. “You guys are still here?” she said, motioning at how they were still here. They took that as their cue and started heading to the warp.</p><p>When they made it to the plaza, they saw two Lapis Lazulis already standing on the warp, deep in conversation. Recognizing them immediately, Bismuth called out, “Hey, Lapis! Freckles!”</p><p>Lapis looked over. For a second, she looked a bit dour, but a big smile formed on her face as soon as she saw Bismuth. “Hey, you two!” she said, stepping down off the pad.</p><p>“What are you two doing here?” Freckles said, stepping down next to her.</p><p>“We’re just heading back to the house,” Greg said, gesturing at the warp. “Bismuth promised Pearl she’d come over tonight.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, how could I forget,” Lapis said, causing Freckles to giggle.</p><p>“What? Wait, you knew?” Bismuth said, a bit indignant. “How?”</p><p>“This right here,” Lapis replied, conjuring an aqua-blue flip phone from her gem. “She texted me sometime yesterday to see if you’d told me about how you were coming to visit. Honestly, you’d think she never sees you.” Bismuth groaned. It was adorable, but at this rate, everyone was going to get the wrong idea. Lapis seemed to pick up on Bismuth’s embarrassment and backed down a bit. “I’m sure you guys will have a lot of fun. More than we’re planning to, anyway.”</p><p>“What?” Freckles said. It was her turn to sound indignant. “I think this’ll be fun! Wasn’t it fun when you first met me?”</p><p>“Afterwards, yes,” Lapis said. “During? No. It was crazy stressful.”</p><p>“I thought it was fun,” Freckles muttered.</p><p>“Wait, hold up,” Bismuth said, admittedly a bit happy the conversation had steered away from her. “What are you two talking about? What’s going on?”</p><p>Freckles perked up a bit at this. “We’re going back to homeworld to talk to some of the Lazulis about Earth!” she said.</p><p>“Really?” Bismuth said, a bit surprised. “What brought this on?”</p><p>“Well,” Lapis said, a bit more apprehensive sounding, “the last time I was on Homeworld, I ran into some of the Lazulis that were here on Earth during the war. They saw the fighting, and some of them even saw the corruption. They’re having a hard time coming around to all of this.”</p><p>“So!” Freckles interjected, “I thought it’d be a great idea for us to go and convince them ourselves! The same way Lapis did for me and Curls,” she added, putting her arm around Lapis’ shoulders. “Well, maybe not the exact same way. Hopefully, there’d be a lot less terraforming...and fighting...”</p><p>Lapis laughed weakly, shrugging out of Freckles’ arm. “It was a pretty last-minute decision,” she said, “but I knew it’d be best to get it taken care of right away.”</p><p>Earth during the war. Bismuth’s mind started spinning thinking about how things were back then. How she was back then. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” she said, her tone cautious. “I know it’s hard for you to think about that time.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” Lapis said, smiling. It looked genuine enough, but Bismuth couldn’t help worrying it was for her benefit. “Besides, it's important to me. I have to do what’s right, even if it hurts. You know?” Even through all of Lapis’ determination and strength, Bismuth could still see that bit of hesitation in her eyes. Thinking about Earth back then, it made Lapis think of the mirror. Of getting cracked and treated as an object for thousands of years.</p><p>Anytime Bismuth saw those eyes, looking back in time, it made her think of that moment she had cracked Lapis’ gem.</p><p>“Lapis, I...” For just a second, Bismuth considered telling her the truth. That it was her who had hurt Lapis. But the more she thought about it, the more she worried that everything would change for the worse if she did that. The part of her that felt it was the right thing to do subsided, and she buried those emotions deep again. “I’ll treat you when you get back. You and Peridot can finally show me that camping show you’ve always talked about.”</p><p>Lapis’ mood visibly brightened at this. “Finally!” she said, her smile shifting from forced to genuine in an instant. “It's a date. I better be sure to text Peridot about this so she can get all of our DVDs together!” Turning to Freckles she clasped her hands in her own. “I think I’m ready! Let’s go motivate some gems!”</p><p>“That’s what I like to hear!” Freckles said, grinning.</p><p>Lapis gave Bismuth a quick hug before stepping back on the warp. As the light flared up and engulfed both of them, Lapis looked back at her and shot her another earnest smile. This time, her eyes had only genuine excitement in them. And then, the light vanished, and the two Lapis Lazulis along with it.</p><p>For a second, Bismuth just stared at the empty space where they had been. In that moment of silence, Greg reached out and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. “She’ll be okay, Bismuth,” he said, his tone warm.</p><p>“Yeah,” Bismuth replied. She took all those thoughts and memories and pushed them to the recesses of her mind, instead trying to think only of her work and classes and all the gems in Little Homeworld she’d helped...and of Pearl. She sighed. “I know.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It'll Be Okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When they landed back safely on the house warp pad, Bismuth and Greg saw Pearl sitting in the living room with Cat Steven, stroking him as he purred gently in her lap. However, the second Bismuth stepped forward onto the hardwood floor, her eyes shot up to her and a wide, ecstatic smile formed on her face. </p><p>“Bismuth!” Pearl exclaimed, standing straight up (accidentally throwing Cat Steven off her lap into a barrel roll before landing perfectly on the coffee table, seemingly undisturbed by all the commotion). “You made it!” She ran up and leapt at her, wrapping her arms around Bismuth’s neck in as tight a hug as she could manage.</p><p>Bismuth felt her brain turn to mush as she reciprocated the hug. Suddenly, all she could think about was how soft Pearl felt against her, how warm; how she smelled like pines and the ocean, like a campfire on the beach; how wonderful her voice was, Bismuth’s favorite sound. Unable to calm her nerves, Bismuth instead just laughed wholeheartedly, her heart swelling from Pearl’s earnest excitement. When Pearl finally let her go, Bismuth was smiling from ear to ear. “I wouldn’t miss out on time with you,” she said. “After all, I...uh, you were expecting me, you know?” She immediately internally reprimanded herself. Apparently, the few seconds it took to get from one warp to another were enough for her to let her nerves get to her.</p><p>Luckily, Pearl just laughed and patted Bismuth on the arm. “It’s true, I was expecting you!” she said. Then, as if she had just realized he was there, she turned to address Greg. “Welcome home, Greg! How was the construction work?” She squinted as her expression turned more scrutinizing. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you? I noticed you didn’t take your human safety hat I got you.” She gestured over to the door, where a hard hat was hanging on the coat rack.</p><p>“I told you, Pearl, it wasn’t that kind of construction,” Greg said patiently as he hung his tool belt next to it. “We were just putting in windows and doors. It was completely safe.”</p><p>“Well, you can never be too careful,” Pearl said, wagging her finger at him. “Why, Amethyst had a baseball fall on her head just yesterday. She wasn’t even playing!”</p><p>“Gem baseball can be pretty dangerous,” Bismuth said, chuckling. “As well as gem volleyball, gem football, gem badminton -- pretty much any sport being played by gems is dangerous.”</p><p>“Trust me, I know,” Greg said with a shutter, remembering last week’s tragic gem stick hockey accident. “Actually, speaking of Amethyst, where is she?”</p><p>“Oh! Her and Garnet left just before you got here,” Pearl said. “They said they were going to take care of teaching metal-smithing class tonight for Bismuth. They did tell you, right?” she added, turning to Bismuth.</p><p>“Oh, they...of course they did!” Bismuth stammered. It had never occurred to her that Garnet, with her future vision and, more importantly, keen eye for love, would ever suss out her feelings for Pearl. She would need to thank her later, and maybe also see how much she told Amethyst. “I mean, they’re covering my class, it only makes sense I’d know, because I did. Since it was my class that I teach.”</p><p>“Well, that’s awfully nice of-- ah, nuts!” Greg said, mild panic in his voice. He was staring at his phone in wide-eyed disbelief. “I completely forgot I was gonna play cards with Barb at Vidalia’s place tonight!”</p><p>“You’ve been doing that a lot recently,” Pearl said.</p><p>“Yeah, well, now that Sadie has left the nest and is technically my employee, Barb uses those games to probe me about her and Shep,” Greg said. “If I miss out, she’ll think I’m avoiding her and be out for blood. And I refuse to let her take my merch shipments hostage ever again.”</p><p>“Well,” Pearl said, “I assure you, we’ll be just fine on our own. Won’t we, Bismuth?” she added, casting a lovely smile her way.</p><p>Bismuth felt herself melt a bit seeing that smile. She caught herself staring a bit too long at Pearl’s lips, realizing she still hadn’t responded, and said, “Yeah, definitely.”</p><p>As soon as Greg had left, Pearl grabbed Bismuth’s arm and dragged her to the couch in a hurry. It was only then that Bismuth noticed she had brought the TV downstairs, along with the VCR, positioning them awkwardly on the coffee table. “I’m so excited!” she said, seating Bismuth. She sat down just next to her, close but just out of reach. “I went to a small, human antique shop in a nearby town and I got us some VHS movies! I paid for them on my own and everything.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, I think Steven showed me a couple movies,” Bismuth said. “He said there were a ton of them. What kind did you get?”</p><p>“I’m glad you asked!” Pearl said, moving towards the cabinet. “I picked a whole bunch! I got ‘Space Creature,’ ‘Big Trouble in Little Japan,’ ‘Restless in Emerald City’--I tried to make sure we had a good variety to choose from. Any of them look good to you?” she added, carrying over a towering stack of tapes.</p><p>Despite feeling daunted by the broad selection before her, Bismuth looked through the tapes while Pearl fidgeted excitedly over here. After a bit of deliberation, she settled on a romance film called ‘Therese.’ “I mean, I didn’t get to see this period in history,” she explained. “It’ll be interesting!”</p><p>“Good choice!” Pearl said, setting everything up. “Garnet recommended this one to me before I went shopping. I think we’ll like it just fine.”</p><p>The next couple of hours went by in what felt like the blink of an eye. Bismuth, sitting in the middle of the couch, would ask about clothes, buildings, and outdated technology. Pearl, sitting just a foot away, would tell her what they were and give her a small anecdote. Much of the movie flew right over their heads as they kept getting lost in conversation.. At some point, a story about the first time Pearl drove a car (a fifties Fjord, which tragically didn’t survive the experience) left them both snickering, with Pearl having to prop herself up on the couch cushion to keep from falling over.</p><p>Then, came the scene. As their laughter subsided and they took a moment to see where they were in the movie, they saw the two leads, two beautiful women, sharing a passionate kiss. The quiet that followed was unbearable.</p><p>Bismuth realized with mounting dread that all she could think about was kissing Pearl. She felt her cheeks grow hot as the thought invaded her mind, pushing out any attempt she made to distract herself. Suddenly, her hands were feeling clammy, a feeling she didn’t think gems could even get. She turned her head just a smidge, peeking over at Pearl to gauge her emotions.</p><p>Pearl, for her part, looked enthralled by it all. Her eyes were glued to the TV, taking in every single detail. There was a small tick in her eyes as she realized she was being watched, and she turned to look up at Bismuth. Her expression softened, but she looked every bit as enthralled as she had a second ago. Maybe it was just the lighting from the movie, but Bismuth could have sworn her cheeks were flushed as well. “Bismuth?” she said, her voice soft. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>Bismuth realized that at some point, she had gone from peeking at Pearl to full on staring at her. She knew, deep down, that if ever there was a moment to reach forward and make something happen, this was it. All she had to do was touch her hand to Pearl’s cheek, lean in close enough to feel her breath on her lips, and...</p><p>“Man, humans, right?” Bismuth said, chuckling weakly as she averted her eyes.</p><p>Pearl blinked at her. “Oh!” she said. “Um...yeah, humans really are...something else.”</p><p>The moment was punctuated by a brief silence before the scene ended, allowing Bismuth to find something else to comment on. Although Pearl launched right into another anecdote about her time in the twentieth century, Bismuth couldn’t ignore that her passion seemed just a bit flatter than before.</p><p>***</p><p>“Do you really have to go?” Pearl asked. She had a firm grip on Bismuth’s arm, pulling just the slightest bit as she edged closer to the door. “I have plenty more movies! We could even sneak into Amethyst’s room and get her video game entertainment system.”</p><p>Bismuth had to actively work to ignore how infectious Pearl’s enthusiasm was. “That sounds fun, but I need to work out my lesson plans for tomorrow,” she said. “I have the rubies in my metal-smithing class, so I need to do some serious safety prep first. We don’t want a repeat of the stick hockey incident, you know?”</p><p>Pearl sighed, loosening her grip on Bismuth. “I suppose you have a point,” she said, sounding a bit defeated. “But wouldn’t you rather use the warp? Little Homeworld is a bit far on foot, and, and it's already so dark out.”</p><p>For a second, Bismuth imagined warping back to the plaza, the light flaring up and calling attention to her in the night. With her luck, all the gems would know she had been with Pearl, and she’d have to explain to each and every one of them that no, nothing happened, and yes, she chickened out and just made everything awkward, are you even surprised. She held back a shudder of embarrassment. “Nah, I’ll be fine,” she said. “The walk will give me time to think about tomorrow. Besides, I like the night sky.”</p><p>“Well...okay,” Pearl said. Stepping forward, she got up on her toes and wrapped her arms around Bismuth in a tight embrace. “Come back soon, okay?”</p><p>“I will,” Bismuth said, returning the hug.</p><p>Bismuth maintained a happy expression as she walked down the stairs and onto the beach, waving to pearl as she left. Once she was down around the bend and just out of sight of the house, however, she let the facade drop, groaning loudly as she slapped herself on the forehead. “‘Man, humans, right?’” she repeated, the phrase making her stomach turn a bit. “What the heck was I thinking? What kinda deflection was that? I might as well have said, ‘give up now, I’m a lost cause!’” Her exasperation built up inside until finally she threw her hands up and cried out, the sound echoing a bit off the cliffs and out over the ocean.</p><p>As she got closer to Beach City, Bismuth could have sworn she heard music playing in the distance. By the time she was up to the boardwalk, she realized the music was coming from the beach. Looking over, she saw a garish, old-fashioned van with a “Mr. Universe” decal on the side sitting on the sand, the gentle strums of a guitar coming from around the other side of it.</p><p>A bit disbelieving, Bismuth went out onto the beach and peaked around the side to see Greg sitting in the back, happily playing music while staring into space. As she was trying to think of a way to let him know she was right there, he caught her out of the corner of his eye and jumped, letting out a small scream. “Don’t try me, I’m rich!” he yelled out, grabbing the neck of his guitar like a weapon.</p><p>“Whoa whoa, Greg, it’s me,” Bismuth said, stepping out into full view. “Please lower your deadly weapon, I don’t wanna have to make you a new one.”</p><p>Greg let out a sigh of relief, lowering his deadly weapon. “Sorry about that, Bismuth. I thought you were Onion.”</p><p>“Speaking of Onion, aren’t you supposed to be playing cards with his mom?” Bismuth said, eyeing Greg suspiciously. “Don’t tell me the game finished already?”</p><p>Greg sighed. “No, there was no game tonight,” he said sheepishly. “That’s later this week. I’ve been out here this whole time.”</p><p>“What?” Bismuth said, confused. “Why?” Then, it dawned on her. Just like Garnet and Amethyst, Greg had been conveniently out of the house tonight, leaving as soon as they got back. “No.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Greg said with a chuckle, avoiding her eyes.</p><p>Letting out another beleaguered groan, Bismuth flopped face-down into the sand. It barely muffled her.</p><p>“Yep,” Greg said, patting her back. “Let it all out.”</p><p>Bismuth rolled over onto her back and looked up at the sky. The stars were shining brilliantly, but she was too embarrassed to be able to appreciate it right now. “How did you know?” she asked. “About my...feelings.”</p><p>“I saw the way you look at her,” Greg said with a smile. “It's the same way I used to look at Rose. Like she was the only person in the room, no matter who else was there.”</p><p>Bismuth felt both the sting of being called out, as well as the tinge of surprise. “Do I really look at her like that?”</p><p>“You do,” Greg said. “And you know, I’ve seen her looking at you that way, too.”</p><p>“What?” Bismuth said. “No you haven’t. Have you? No, of course not.”</p><p>“Bismuth, she thinks the world of you,” Greg said, starting to sound exasperated himself. “I see it, the Crystal Gems see it. Why not just go for it?”</p><p>Biting her lip, Bismuth thought for a second, trying to get her thoughts in order. “She just...Pearl has a lot going for her, you know? She’s teaching other gems how to have fun and live on Earth, and when she’s not doing that, she’s out getting to know humans and...and trying new things. I saw her eat food the other day. Not much, but she tried. She has this full life now. She’s somebody, and I’m...well, I’m nobody. I’d just drag her down.”</p><p>For a bit after that, they sat silently; Bismuth stewing in her own emotions, and Greg lost in thought, looking for something to say. Finally, he decided to clear the air. “Bismuth,” he said, “do you know what kinda person I was when I met Rose?”</p><p>“No, I wasn’t really around for that,” she replied.</p><p>“I was a loser,” he said. “I had a bad relationship with my parents, my only friend was a complete jerk, and only one person came to my show here in town. But when I saw Rose, I knew none of that mattered. Even when I realized just how truly important she was, I still pushed forward through all of my doubts. Because I wanted to be with her.”</p><p>“But...how did you know it’d be okay?” Bismuth said, turning her head so she could see Greg.</p><p>“I didn’t,” he said, a fond look in his eyes as he watched the stars above. “I just knew a life with her was better than any life without her.” He turned his gaze down to her. “Sometimes, you just need to tell yourself it’ll be okay, even if you don’t believe it.”</p><p>Bismuth turned her eyes back up to the sky, Greg’s words bouncing around in her head. It’ll be okay. Maybe all she needed was just to reassure herself, give herself that little push. Maybe she needed to just say it, push past her doubts and try to move forward with Pearl, even if she was afraid. Besides, nothing was going to change unless she made it change.</p><p>“It’ll be okay.”</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Allez!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bismuth made sure to get an early start when she got back to Little Homeworld around midnight. By then, classes had ended and Garnet and Amethyst were long gone, leaving the anvil and foundry all to her. She spent the night making sure she had the right ores, that said ores were properly refined and that all her tools were organized and accessible for humans and gems who weren't into shapeshifting.</p><p>It was technically work, but it was really just something for Bismuth to do with her hands. The real work was going on in her mind as she mulled over everything Greg had said to her. She had spent so long thinking that she not only didn't have a chance with Pearl, but also didn't even deserve a chance, that having someone question her logic rattled her. Was it really true that her only obstacle this whole time had been herself? And if so, then...what now? What options were there but to just move forward?</p><p>Midnight turned to one o’ clock turned to four, and Bismuth found herself going beyond prep work and into making weaponry. Before long, she had shaped some iron into a rudimentary blade, her hands moving on their own as she delved deeper into her own thoughts.</p><p>In a rare moment of carelessness, however, her thoughts turned to Pearl, of her face illuminated by the glow of the TV, her expression expectant and her eyes taking in all of Bismuth. She swung her hammer too hard and threw the shape of the sword off. The middle of the blade was ruined, appearing more like a disc than anything. She snapped out of her mild trance just long enough to realize what she’d done.</p><p>“Ah, shucks,” she said with a sigh. “That was a rookie mistake.” She patted her cheeks a bit, hoping to banish the image of Pearl out of her mind for even a little bit. “Come on, Bismuth, you’re better than that.” Getting up, she moved to discard the metal before looking at the furnace. It occurred to her that she could simply reforge the metal, melt it back down and try again. This one mistake didn’t have to be the end.</p><p>That last thought stuck in her head as she melted the sword’s remains down and began to cast a new one. “This mistake didn’t have to be the end.” Maybe, just maybe, on the off chance she was right and Pearl didn’t feel the same about her, she could bounce back from that. Maybe embarrassing herself wasn’t the end. Like she had realized last night, nothing would change unless she moved forward, for better or worse. For the first time in a while, Bismuth felt a renewed vigor. Once again, she lost herself in her thoughts, her hands working independently of her. This time, it was not anxiety that bounced around in her head, but excitement.</p><p>Four o’ clock turned to five turned to eight, and before she knew it, the sun was shining in through the windows. With it came a small knocking at her door. “Good morning, Bismuth!” a voice said.</p><p>Turning, Bismuth saw Peridot standing in the doorway smiling at her. “Hey, Peridot,” she said, returning the smile. “What are you up to this morning?”</p><p>“Oh, you know, just dropping by to help you prep for class, since I’m your co-teacher today,” Peridot said, stepping up next to her. “Although it looks like you may have that handled already.”</p><p>Bismuth looked over at her multiple neat stacks of ore, ingots and metal plates. “Oh, geez,” she said, scratching the back of her head. “I completely forgot that was today. Sorry, I had a long night.”</p><p>“Was it a long night trying to make Pearl a new sword?” Peridot asked.</p><p>“What? What makes you think that?”</p><p>“The fact that you made that.” She pointed at the anvil, and Bismuth turned to see that the sword she had been working on all night had taken on a completely different form. It was now shaped like one of Pearl’s sabers, but with more intricate details. The tip was sharper and finer, almost like the point on a needle; the handguard now had small, elaborate engravings all along the sides; the hilt itself was a bit lighter, lending more weight distribution to the blade itself; and running up along said blade was iron shaped to look like vines, stopping at the midpoint of the sword. The detail that stood out the most, however, was a new pommel in the shape of a square that seemed to be circling in on itself on the inside. It looked suspiciously like...</p><p>Bismuth’s cheeks grew a darker shade of purple at the realization. When had this happened? Had she really been so lost in her thoughts as to craft Pearl a new sword? And adorn it with a facsimile of her own gem? “I, uh...” she said, unsure of what to say. “I guess it was, huh?”</p><p>“Well, it looks nice!” Peridot said, giving Bismuth an official thumbs up of approval. “But I notice it's made entirely of iron. You are aware that’s one of the weaker Earth metals, right?”</p><p>“Are you aware that, technically, iron isn’t from Earth?” Bismuth said, a bit annoyed.</p><p>“What?” Peridot said, aghast. “That’s not true. Is it? No, that can’t be true...or maybe...” She waved the thought away, attempting to hide her own frustration. “Nevermind, I’ll just look that up when I have my tablet. Besides, regardless of you using an inferior metal with mysterious origins, I feel Pearl would appreciate the upgraded design. Are you planning to give that to her?”</p><p>Bismuth was a bit surprised. She hadn’t even considered the idea of giving Pearl a gift. Maybe if she did that, telling her her real feelings would come a bit easier. All she’d have to do would be to follow the momentum of surprising Pearl and just roll with it. With a bit of a smile, she admired the sword and said, “Yeah, I think I am.” She held it in front of her gem, allowing it to break the sword down into light and store it away.</p><p>“Well, if you’re all done here, would you like to join me in the greenhouse before class starts?” Peridot asked. “Since you got all the prep done early, it’d be nice to be able to check on my plants.”</p><p>“Sure,” Bismuth said. “Lead the way.”</p><p>***</p><p>While it had been awhile since Bismuth had been there, the greenhouse was as vibrant and alive as she remembered. It was practically bursting with a wide variety of flora, from all over the world. How Peridot managed to keep such diverse and disparate species all thriving in the same environment, especially without gem tech or magic, was beyond Bismuth. Even the damage caused during Steven’s breakdown a year back hadn’t slown down her progress. It was, frankly, incredible.</p><p>Since it was so early, the greenhouse was still empty, save for a couple Nephrites tending to some cacti. Peridot offered them a quick but enthusiastic greeting before heading to her personal work bench. “Take a look at this!” she said, picking up a pot and turning to Bismuth. Inside it were pink and blue azaleas, all in prime condition. The petals and stems were all in perfect condition, no signs of wilting or rot anywhere.</p><p>“Dang, that’s impressive!” Bismuth said, admiring them. “Did you grow these?”</p><p>“That’s the best part!” Peridot replied with a grin. “I didn’t! Lapis did!”</p><p>“Really?” Bismuth said.</p><p>“Yeah!” Peridot was beaming. “She’s been super busy with her meepmorps and helping other gems get into it and all, but she actually took the time to come do with me and take care of it herself.” Her expression softened a bit, a slight tinge forming on her cheeks. “She has so much going on right now, but she still makes time to make sure I know I’m important to her. It really makes each day that much more exciting, you know?”</p><p>“Huh,” Bismuth said, a bit surprised at Peridot’s thoughtfulness. Her mind turned to Pearl’s constant invitations and, sometimes, outright demands to spend time together. She had always just seen it as part of who Pearl is, just her being excited to share her newfound passion for Earth. But maybe it was more than that. Maybe, even in her overstuffed life with everything going on, she was trying to make room for Bismuth. “I’d never thought of it like that.”</p><p>“What was that?” Peridot said.</p><p>“Nothing, just thinking,” Bismuth said. “Hey, could I try and grow something, maybe?”</p><p>Peridot’s eyes dilated immediately, a wide grin growing on her face. “Of course you can!” she said, her excitement barely contained. If there was any way to make her happy, it was to talk to her about horticulture. “Did you have something in mind? A color? Do you wanna try cross-pollinating? How much free time do you have?”</p><p>Peridot pelted Bismuth with questions for the rest of their free time, asking about her opinions on various types of soil, fertilizer and gardening equipment. Bismuth could only really keep up on that last point, but she was just happy to see Peridot enjoying herself. Time flew by, and before long, she had to cut off a distressingly in-depth lecture about the nature of loam to remind Peridot they had a class to teach.</p><p>The school-day went about as normal as one could expect, save for the Rubies’ attempts to use the smelter ending in several fires (Bismuth suddenly felt relieved she had taken those OSHA courses and decided to keep a fire extinguisher in the forge). Bismuth was glad to have Peridot there, both to help keep the rowdier gems in line and to take the lead on several of the lectures, giving her a bit of time to think on her sword. When would she give it to Pearl? Today, after classes were done? What class was she teaching? Was it a daytime class? Was she even teaching today? Maybe she was back at the house. Would Bismuth even be able to visit? Did she need permission first? What if--</p><p>“Bismuth?”</p><p>Bismuth snapped back to reality, realizing that Peridot had called her name. Judging from the way everyone was staring at her expectantly, Peridot’s lecture was over, and it was time for Bismuth to demo what she had been talking about. “Oh, uh, heh...sorry about that,” she said sheepishly.</p><p>While Bismuth may have zoned out, she at least remembered the curriculum for the day, and she set to work on the anvil immediately. The rest of the class sped by as she got lost in her work, the gentle comfort of metal-work easing her anxiety. Before she knew it, the class was done. After checking to make sure everyone had understood her instructions and what would be expected of them next session, she stepped out of the forge to look for Pearl.</p><p>Heading to the plaza, Bismuth started to scan the crowd for Pearl when she heard a familiar voice saying, “Bismuth, over here!” She followed the voice to see Pearl standing in front of a small group of both gems and humans, all dressed in padding and with wire mesh masks and training foils, in front of the tower. She had her own training foil and her jacket was off to the side, laying in the grass. Bismuth couldn’t help but notice that, despite how small she was, Pearl’s arms were surprisingly toned. </p><p>Bismuth ran up to join the class, stopping just in front of Pearl. Up close, she could better make out her arms, seeing just how muscular they really were. She realized that if she didn’t say something now, she was going to get lost staring at them. A bit nervously she said, “Hey, Pearl. Hey, everybody,” she added, addressing the class. They all responded in turn.</p><p>“Bismuth, do you think you could spar with me?” Pearl asked. “I just started with this class so I want to start them on basic exercises, but I think they’d benefit from seeing an example first!”</p><p>“Oh!” Bismuth said. “Uh...sure, but you should know I’m know that great with these…” She gestured at the foil. “Smaller weapons.”</p><p>Pearl giggled a bit. For Bismuth, it was an earworm. “That’s okay, I just need someone tough who can handle me for a bit,” she said. “And there’s no one tougher than you, so…” She looked up at Bismuth with hopeful and inquisitive eyes. It was an expression that no one in their right mind could say no to.</p><p>Bismuth smirked and said, “Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?”</p><p>Beaming, Pearl nodded at one of her students, who went ahead and lent Bismuth their foil. While appropriately sized for the average human, in her hands, it felt comically small. Still, she took it up and did her best to mirror Pearl as she moved into first position. “We’ll be fighting until one of us is disarmed,” she said, locking eyes with Bismuth. “Are you ready?”</p><p>Bismuth offered her a small nod.</p><p>Smiling, Pearl yelled, “Allez!”</p><p>Bismuth lunged forward with a thrust that Pearl immediately parried, putting her off balance. She tried to follow up with more basic swings, each one a bit sloppier than the last, but Pearl deflected them effortlessly. Then, she delivered a beat to the center of Bismuth’s foil, causing her to stumble. In that brief time, Pearl circled her own foil underneath Bismuth’s and delivered another beat to it, this time sliding her blade down it until the tip was at her hand. With a simple motion, she flicked the weapon out of her grip up into the air, both disarming her and causing her to tumble forward. The world spun a bit and, next thing she knew, Bismuth was flat on her back, staring disorientedly up at the sky.</p><p>Suddenly, she heard the sound of something cutting the wind, and the tip of a foil came into view inches from her face. Following the blade to its owner, Bismuth saw Pearl standing over her, her foil bearing down on her. She was smiling a bit too smugly, but not too smugly for Bismuth to not feel her heart race a bit. Laughing a bit, Bismuth smiled and said, “I think you got me there.”</p><p>Pearl giggled again, her expression softening. She moved her foil away from Bismuth’s face and extended her hand. “It was a good match,” she said as she helped her to feet. It took everything Bismuth had to not think about much she wanted to keep holding that, but she let go. Still, as their hands separated, Bismuth could have sworn that Pearl’s fingers lingered just for a bit on her own. Pearl then turned to the students and said, “Hopefully that gave you all an idea of how fencing works, and the skills you’ll be able to achieve. Let’s meet back up on Friday for some basic drills and exercises. Class dismissed!”</p><p>As the students packed up dispersed, Bismuth said to Pearl, “Is that your last class for the day?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, I scheduled today a bit light,” Pearl said as she put her jacket back on. “What about you? Are you all done for the day?” she added, suddenly sounding just the slightest bit hopeful.</p><p>Bismuth smiled. “I am,” she said.</p><p>“Wonderful!” Pearl said, grinning from ear to ear. “Would you maybe like to come over and we could watch more movies? Or do anything, honestly.”</p><p>More movies? That they could watch while sitting close to each other? Giving Bismuth a chance to do things right this time? She couldn’t think of any downsides to this idea. She might not even need to give Pearl the sword at all--</p><p>Bismuth realized she had completely forgotten about the sword. “I’d love to,” she said, “but first, I--”</p><p>Before she could say anything else, however, the plaza warp activated, a massive pillar of light shooting into the sky. They both peered over at it, as did the other gems milling about Little Homeworld. When the light dissipated, they saw that it was Lapis and Freckles, as well as a handful of new Lazulis. Some of the gems in the area congregated to them immediately, excited to welcome the new faces.</p><p>“Is Lapis back already?” Pearl said, visibly startled. Bismuth, however, didn’t really hear her.</p><p>Looking past the crowd and directly at the new Lazulis, she found her attention stolen. They were all closest looking to Freckles, each of them in matching Homeworld uniforms. They did have their own unique traits (one of them had long curly hair pulled back into a bun, and another was strangely short, closer to Peridot’s height) but one of them stood out more than others. She had long messy hair that reached down the middle of her back to her waist, and sunken eyes as if she were sleep-deprived. She was clearly nervous, her hands fidgeting with her dress down below her waist.</p><p>None of that was what caught Bismuth’s attention. What caught her attention was the way the nervous Lazuli was staring straight at her. She had honed in on Lapis the second they were out of the warp. While her expression was quiet and unreadable, her eyes could have burned a hole straight through Bismuth’s gem. There was a seething hatred in them, something so ingrained that she couldn’t contain any of it. Whoever this Lapis was, she knew Bismuth.</p><p>And she despised her.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Then I Won't Let Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bismuth started to feel nervous herself under that intense gaze. The Lazuli locked eyes with her for a second, maybe two. Long enough for Bismuth to know she had seen her looking. It was almost as if she were daring Bismuth to look away. Then, she lowered her gaze and looked over to Lapis, almost like she was dismissing Bismuth for now.</p><p>“Oh!” Pearl said excitedly, completely oblivious to the strange gem. “New arrivals! Let’s go greet them real quick, then we can go back to the house.” She grabbed Bismuth by the hand with both of hers and led her into the crowd.</p><p>“Oh, uh...sure,” Bismuth said. She briefly considered protesting, but decided against it. It was just a Lazuli giving her the stink eye, it didn’t mean anything. It especially wasn’t enough to stop her from greeting a friend.</p><p>Together, they pushed past the others until they were up by Lapis herself. In her periphery, Bismuth saw the nervous Lazuli peek at her. It was only for a second and she couldn’t fully see her face, but she still felt the full scorn this gem harbored for her. Catching her and Pearl out of the corner of her eye, Lapis smiled and waved, offsetting the tension a bit. “Hey, you two,” she said. “My impromptu mission was a success.”</p><p>“And in record time,” Pearl said. “You were only gone for a day.”</p><p>“That’s nothing,” Freckles said with a smirk. “Lapis and Steven managed to get me here in one afternoon. I was pretty agreeable.”</p><p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t say you were ‘agreeable,’” Lapis said. “I mean, none of these gems tried to drown me, so...” The new Lazulis erupted into giggling at this comment, causing Freckles to blush a bit before laughing herself. “That reminds me, I haven’t introduced them yet. Lazulis, these are Pearl and Bismuth. They’re my friends.”</p><p>“A pleasure to meet you!” the short one said with a small curtsy. Up close, Bismuth saw that she was a bit stockier than the average Lazuli. “My name is LT-836.”</p><p>“I’m LT-251,” the curly-haired one said, her tone flat. LT-836 nudged her gently in the side, prompting her to add, “A pleasure.”</p><p>The others introduced themselves in similar fashion, listing their cuts and offering a polite greeting (although one with a darker shade of blue and an undercut, LT-676, just did finger-guns in place of an actual greeting, much to LT-836’s chagrin) until the only one left was the nervous one. Bismuth found herself fidgeting her hands just behind her back, suddenly nervous and worried over what she was going to say.</p><p>Turns out, she had nothing to worry about. She didn’t even glance Bismuth’s way, instead casting her eyes downward. “...LT-117,” she muttered, her voice barely audible. It was surreal to hear her speak; she had the same voice as the rest of the Lazulis, but hers was so much smaller, so much more reserved. She seemed to be scared of looking up at anyone, even her fellow gems. </p><p>LT-117 jumped a bit as Lapis placed her hand gently on her shoulder. She finally looked up just for Lapis, her expression concerned. When she saw her offering a sincere, warm smile, her nervous expression finally subsided a bit as she returned her own small smile. Lapis then turned to Bismuth and Pearl and said, “All of these Lazulis were with me on Earth during the war, but LT-117 was my closest friend. She was there when we were ordered to flee, and…” Lapis paused, her eyes staring off for a second, searching. It was brief, but Bismuth had seen it before. Whenever something made her think of back then, during the war, she would suddenly look out of place, lost. Then, just like that, the expression was gone, but her tone was now just a bit more unsteady. “It affected her, just like it affected me. And I’m hoping we can do what we can to help her see that Earth is a good place, full of beautiful and incredible things.” She turned to LT-117. “If you want to try, that is.”</p><p>LT-117 looked like she wanted to say something pithy, but she held it back. “I came with you, didn’t I?” she said instead. Her tone was still a bit exasperated, but there was something kind in it as well. She reached a shaky hand up and placed it on Lapis’. It was a small gesture, but a strong one.</p><p>“That’s so sweet of you, Lapis,” Pearl said, sounding genuinely moved. “Maybe, to get them started, you could help them pick out some names for themselves? I’m sure Amethyst would love to help them get started.”</p><p>“That’s not a bad idea,” Lapis said. “What do you guys think? Ready to decide for yourself what you want to be called?”</p><p>Most of the Lazulis seemed enthusiastic about the idea, excited to be able to make their first independent choice on Earth. The only one who looked doubtful about the idea was LT-117. “I don’t think I’ll need it,” she said, looking away from Lapis.</p><p>Bismuth felt compelled to speak up. She had been silent this entire time, too uncertain of LT-117 to add anything to the conversation, but maybe now she could try and help motivate her as a way of trying to circumvent whatever lingering awkwardness there was. Besides, she had only ever been second to Rose Quartz when it came to motivating gems. “I think it's worth a shot,” she said. She was a little surprised at how small she sounded right now, but she pressed on anyway. “Nothing makes you feel more at home on Earth than deciding these things yourself.”</p><p>LT-117’s head snapped to look at Bismuth, her small nervousness replaced by the same seering hate she had shown earlier. “I said, I don’t need it!!” she shouted, her voice suddenly loud and overpowering. It was like she was a completely different person. </p><p>Bismuth flinched at this, stepping back. She had been so on edge that for a second, she considered pushing her way out of the crowd, maybe back to the forge to work the sudden tightness in her chest away. But before she could, she felt a hand wrap around one of her own. Peeking over, she saw that Pearl had reflexively grabbed onto her, moving close enough to almost touch shoulders. It was unclear if she had read Bismuth and was trying to comfort her, or if she herself had been just as alarmed.</p><p>Lapis stepped in, gently grabbed LT-117’s hands and moved between her and Bismuth. “Hey,” Lapis said, her voice gentle and warm, “you don’t need to push yourself to do anything you don’t want to do. But I agree with Bismuth, I think it’d be good for you. You don’t have to do it right away, but will you at least come with us? See what it’s like?”</p><p>LT-117 was now shaking, her breathing just a bit labored. Still, Lapis’ words reached her, and she lowered her gaze back to the ground. “Okay,” she muttered.</p><p>“Great,” Lapis said. She then turned to Bismuth with an apologetic expression. “Sorry, she’s been through a lot. I’m gonna keep her company for now in case she needs anything. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah...of course,” Bismuth said, trying to hide how shaken she was feeling. She could only watch as Lapis corralled the Lazulis together and led them out of the plaza. For a moment, she felt overcome by her own weakness, shocked at her own inability to handle so simple a situation. What was happening to her?</p><p>“That poor thing,” Pearl said. Bismuth had become so fixated on LT-117 that when Pearl spoke up, she felt her body tense up as she almost flinched. “I can’t begin to imagine what she’s been through.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Bismuth said, trying to mask her own discomfort. “I guess Earth back then...it really messed some of us up, huh?”</p><p>Pearl let out a small, somewhat forced chuckle at that. “I guess so,” she said, averting her eyes. Suddenly, she seemed just as anxious as Bismuth.</p><p>The brief silence that followed felt torturous. Bismuth knew one of them had to say something. Putting on a more upbeat tone, she peeked over at Pearl and said, “You know, I walked past the boardwalk last night on the way home. I don’t think I’ve ever spent much time there, aside from after Spinel.”</p><p>Pearl’s nervous, uneasy expression gave way to a surprised but curious look as she peered back up at Bismuth. “Have you really never been before?” she said. “Oh, there’s so many fun things to do there! I know you’d love it.”</p><p>“I think I would,” Bismuth said. “Would you wanna take me there? Show me around?”</p><p>“Show you around?” Pearl said, excitement building in her eyes. “You mean, right now?”</p><p>Bismuth nodded. “If you have the time, I mean,” she added.</p><p>That did it. All the negativity vanished from Pearl’s face as her mouth curved into a big grin. She was practically beaming now. “Of course I do!” she said eagerly. “There’s no warp into town so we’d have to go on foot, but it’s not that far and I mean you already walked further last night, so this should be no big deal for you, and I already have some money on me so we’ll be able to try out some of the games and--”</p><p>“Woah there,” Bismuth said. “I admire the enthusiasm, but let’s save it for the boardwalk, okay?” As much as she liked the idea of just standing there listening to Pearl talk away, she did wanna have time with her there before anything closed down for the day.</p><p>Pearl looked just a smidge embarrassed, her cheeks tinting a bit. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” she said with a small giggle. Moving next to Bismuth, she interweaved their arms so that they were locked together. Whatever confidence Bismuth had mustered to even suggest this whole idea to Pearl slowly melted away. Now, she couldn’t think of anything but the smaller, beautiful gem holding onto her.</p><p>“All comfy there?” Bismuth said, unable to think of much else to say. It was hard to think whenever Pearl did something like this.</p><p>“Oh!” Pearl said, her grip on Bismuth’s arm loosening a bit. “Is this...is it okay for me to…?” She looked a bit disheartened, the words not coming to her.</p><p>“Of course it is!” Bismuth said in a slight panic. Flustered, she reached over and rested her hand on Pearl’s, pushing it back down so she was gripping her again. “I...I like it, actually.” The words came out before she could stop them.</p><p>Pearl’s expression went strangely neutral, with her just staring at Bismuth blankly. For a second, she was worried she had said something wrong, and that Pearl would let go of her arm and find an excuse to leave. Instead, somehow still to her surprise, her face lit back up as her hold on Bismuth’s arm tightened. “Then I won’t let go,” she said.</p><p>Gems didn’t typically have hearts (save for ones like Amethyst, who chose to simulate the full human anatomy) but if Bismuth did, it would have skipped a beat. It took everything inside of her to keep from grabbing Pearl and pulling her even closer. Instead, she mustered her best smile and gestured forward with her free hand. With a giggle, Pearl began leading her out of Little Homeworld towards Beach City. For just a moment, Bismuth was able to forget all about LT-117.</p>
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